Queer-Identified Housing Facebook Forum, New York City
HI FOLKS, IF YOU POST SOMETHING PROBLEMATIC IT WILL BE DELETED AND YOU WILL BE REMOVED FROM QUEER-IDENTIFIED HOUSING FACEBOOK FORUM, THANK U IN ADVANCE, PEACE –the admin
Posted on April 29, 2016, at 11:24 a.m.:
***$1000/mo for unfurnished or $1200/mo for furnished sublet (including a bed, dresser and other basic furniture)***
Huge bedroom in 3BR rent stabilized apartment in Lefferts Gardens/Flatbush near Prospect Park! Closest train is the B/Q at Church Avenue. Top floor in a three-floor walkup. Building is family-owned and well-cared for. The available room is very large and has natural light. There is enough room to fit a full size bed, a shoe rack, and you! There are classic New York City radiators, which you can’t get anywhere else, making the space feel especially safe in the winter time. We also have an old-school clawfoot tub that has never been fixed, which is not to suggest there’s anything wrong with it! Communal bathing is encouraged in solidarity with the California drought. My hope for the apartment is that it will serve as a gathering space for dinner parties, book clubs, movie nights, group therapy, massage therapy, therapeutic watercoloring, literary salons, and activist meetings (non-hierarchical only). Move-in date is May 1. 420-friendly.
New roommate will share the apartment with two other roommates, including myself and Melissa. There is an anti-capitalism poster above the toilet. We share basics like soaps, shampoo and conditioner; toilet paper and matches; loofah; cooking oils and indigenous spices; kitchen, bath, and menstrual sponges. We usually prefer to eat our own food. Neti pots and most forms of nasal douche are anti-woman. We share bills for internet, gas and electric. This is a TV-free house. Watching pirated TV shows and movies on laptop is permissible at low volume. We are also a scent-free space, as in, for disability access reasons, no perfumes/cologne/unnatural incense, scent-based chemical (de)odorizers or scented candles, cigarette smoking, etc. are allowed. Burning sage and other plant-based incense ok; natural essential oils, a must.
A little more about me: My name is Jacqueline. People call me Jack. My pronouns are she/her. I’m an artist/activist. I work with homeless adults as my day job, and by night, I’m a writer. My other interests include brewing herbal medicine, singing jazz/blues, studying Buddhism and comparative religion, practicing yoga, dancing, and having meaningful conversations. I have 2 dogs: one Boston Terrier, 20 lbs., and a Boston Terrier Pit Mix, 55 lbs. Lovable babies. I play bass in a lesbian post-punk band for fun and I listen to all kinds of music except opera and post-9/11 country. I feel safe at home. I’m a vegan. As a roommate, I am friendly, empathetic, communicative, and respectful of personal space/time. I am warm-hearted, gentle, quiet, pro-cat, anti-anti-dog, and clean. Anti-oppression radical politics are a must for me: anti-racist, pro-trans, pro-sex work, pro-prison abolition, pro-disability justice, economic justice, immigration justice, gentrification awareness, etc. I am white and able-bodied and work hard to keep my stuff in check, but I am also imperfect and up for talking, listening, taking an acting class, stepping up while also stepping back. I’m up for getting as comfy and/or uncomfy as needed. I am intolerant of intolerance, also lactose.
Updated on May 1, 2016, at 8:06p.m.:
MUST BE COMFORTABLE AROUND RESCUE CATS. I realize that this is specific but it’s important as I have been through this before. Must love cats. Also, must be anti-racism/transmisogny, since it would be great to live with someone I can share food with. I’m tired of being alone.
Speaking of food, I have a passion for baking. I will force-feed you, with your consent, some things that I baked for you without gluten to try and enjoy. Last week I made muffins, loaves of bread, unleavened croissants, and sugar-free cookies. I love pie. I will make your birthday cake next year. I have a nut allergy. No offense if you love to nut. Some other things I love making are amazing puns.
Updated on May 1, 2016, at 8:30 p.m.:
A little more about the cats, which you must love. I have two cats, one is male identifying and one is female identifying; both are Siamese. They identify as Thai. They are not twins. They are in an open polyamorous relationship. They are not spayed or neutered because this is a sex-positive home where slut-shaming along with lactose will not be tolerated.
Updated on May 2, 2016, at 11:55 a.m.:
A little more about my new third roommate, who will one day be your roommate as well: Erick is living in the smaller closet, and that means the larger closet, which identifies as a second bedroom, is still available. Erick is 27, gay, friendly, POC, easy-going, apt. He enjoys all different facets within the world of art. Curating cool playlists, bikram yoga, and grubbing on Pad Thai. He currently works as a full-time professional in Luxury Retail at Givenchy. He is up for a promotion in June. It’s all very exciting. Erick is respectful, financially responsible, honest, well kept, and always doing his best to keep lines of communication open. Erick recently learned that his boyfriend, Tom, is deaf. Erick had accused Tom of being a bad listener but it turns out he’s just deaf. Erick is learning American Sign Language, but he is also looking for less Americentrist approaches to signing . Before he moved to New York, Erick had his own apartment in Kansas City which was a two-bedroom he shared with six different roommates, three or four at a time, over a span of five years (all great experiences), so I can attest that he has a grasp on what makes a good roommate, he is definitely not rude or a mess. For example he keeps his MacBook volume low, even though his partner is deaf. He voted for Hillary Clinton in the recent primary election as a way of detoxifying his masculinity. I, however, felt the Bern.
My girlfriend’s name is Melissa, and this morning over a breakfast of sugar-free, unleavened croissants she called me out for implying in the original post that she was “only” my roommate. Actually Melissa is a filmmaker. She goes to NYU. She is looking for real couples who would like to participate in a short film project. The film is a cross between a non-exploitative documentary and an educational pornography on the topic of women’s pleasure and liberation via shame-free, visible masturbation. There are two segments, the first being interviews with a random selection of women about what they like sexually. She is using the answers from the interviews to write the plot of the second segment, which is the educational porno, shot with real couples and throuples, no offense to sham relationships. This short film happens to be the final project for her film class. If you move in to this apartment with Erick and Melissa and me, you will be asked to participate in the interviews, because I love Melissa and she is a brilliant director and it’s fucked up if you don’t help her with her film, especially because everyone else “we” know is mysteriously too busy under late capitalism.
Melissa sleeps in our bed. Please use the correct pronoun. It is not “my” bed anymore, it is our bed. That’s why the larger closet is available. Erick prefers the smaller one. It’s safer. It only locks from the outside.
I will sell my sofa to anyone for $50.
Ideal tenants love to enjoy life and all it has to offer. In return you will always receive positive energy, a great smile (bonus: no judgment), and a non-passive-aggressively clean atmosphere. Please be cat-friendly without being dog-unfriendly. We are: Black, Latina, White, femme, trans men, cis women, genderqueer, photographers, fashion designers, set designers, musicians, DJ’s, organizers, freelancers, part-time job hustlers, witchy, body positive, sex positive, travelers, mostly air and water signs, love to cook, we have guests over sometimes, have a massive tea selection, love to dance, and we are all committed to creating supportive and anti-oppressive safer spaces. Please apply if you love piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. We have had a few people fall through for reasons unrelated to the niceness of the apartment or ourselves. First/last months rent plus security deposit is required to move in. Must have good credit, the temptations of late capitalism notwithstanding.
Updated on May 4, 2016, 7:46 p.m.:
My friend Keith is originally from So-Cal. Salsa roja runs through his veins. He takes home, with consent, the leftover basil stems from pho bowls at Pan-Asian restaurants and prayerfully replants them in empty yogourt cups. He wrote a strings-piano-drums arrangement of Vivaldi’s “Summer” mashed up with Calvin Harris’s “Summer” that left me sweating and in tears. He wears clothes that look like bedding. His SCOBY is 8” long and 8” wide and 2” thick. He likes non-musical theater, museums, night outings, mindful eating, gardening/replanting, therapeutically watercoloring, a whole slew of television-watching, NPR-listening. He listens to NPR because he green-card married a liberal but it’s ok because they are in an open relationship. They met when they were at Hofstra University. They might be getting separated, which is fine. Keith has a profile on Grindr. Anyway, he’s looking for a room for rent around the D train on 125th so I thought I would ask, just in case while you’re looking for a new apartment you are thinking of redistributing your old one. His ideal budget is under $700. I am hoping that he will meet new and interesting friends, especially hot ones, during this process. He is willing to live with anyone. He’s a doctor.
Updated on May 5, 2016 at 2:50 a.m.:
YOU MUST READ ALL THE INFO. Male and male-acting tenants only. Keith will only live with men. Some people feel more comfortable wanting what they want, when they want it. Keith, for example, is more comfortable with a male roommate even though he already has a husband and an amazing lover you may have heard of, even though Keith never introduces him, whose name as a matter of fact is Erick (WITH A K). THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH KEITH WANTING A MALE ROOMMATE. It has nothing to do with his cognizance of gender identity or how he’s a major lying slut. No offense and/or shame to sluts. Nothing in the above post mentions at all how Keith is connected to the community he’s sleeping around in or why his housing needs are queer-friendly or not. He doesn’t even acknowledge the existence of people who struggle against the gender roles society has carved out for them or who can’t eat leavened croissants. NOW, for the love of NO gOD, can we just get on with the task of finding a decent place to live at a decent price with decent people who respect each other for whatever they happen to be? Keith says he is 29 years old. He is a gay, married, pretending to be separated, cis-male, cheap-ass-wine-drinking, lying, cheating, LGBTQH non-activist with stable income because he is a “doctor.”
Updated on May 5, 2016 at 6:30 a.m.:
Hi folks, Jacqueline better known as Jack here. I’d like to extend my apologies to the community for the last update, which as you probably guessed, was written by Erick. Erick hates Keith, it’s a long story. Speaking of Erick, he is no longer in the smaller closet. The larger, bedroom-closet is still open and pre-heated for your pleasure. This spring has chosen to identify as late winter, and Melissa and I feel chilled all the time.
Can anyone give recommendations for all-body-type-positive kickboxing classes and/or non-square dance classes? I am open to most kinds of dancing, I just want to pursue the rhythm in a non-competitive and positive space that is warmer than the unseasonable chill, not to say I don’t feel safe in my apartment. I do, even though for equality reasons I could use a roommate that isn’t my girlfriend who can mediate some of our more “heated” (I wish!!!!!) disputes. Also, we’re looking for a hair stylist who can help me grow out my pixie cut gracefully. Also looking for a queer photographer for my queer wedding with Melissa in October, just thought I’d mention it.
Updated on May 30, 2016 at 9:12 p.m.:
I figured I could give it one last shot. Erick says it’s worth it. Erick and I are talking again after what he did to Keith, who actually is separating now, for those of you who asked. Erick and I also finding meaning through sex. He sleeps over a lot. If you move in, you must love Erick. I know I do! Don’t tell Erick, though. Erick deleted his Facebook account; I’m very proud of him. As for Melissa, she has been very supportive on a creative level. We are working up to the other, fundamentally more important areas of support, like whether or not Erick can be my non-gendered maid of honor/transparency, but we aren’t there yet.
Updated on June 4, 2016, at 9:45 a.m.:
Sorry for the lack of recent updates. I’ve been writing in a journal. I’m not married to NYC any longer. I don’t know if I can marry Melissa. I have an open heart. My life is incredibly difficult, and I feel that I could leave at any time. My bedroom, which has two relatively liveable closets, will soon be free. Imagine being free. If you are interested, please send me a message with more information about yourself. Looking for an awesome person who is seeking out intentional living. Private Message me if you can help Keith get a room with another man, not his husband. Any borough but Staten Island. No basements. I have four or five pets. I am queer and my gender is female. Erick, who is my roommate again, is never home because he is at deaf Tom’s house. I mentioned before that we were having sex, he is gay. It stopped working out but he lives here again. I have had a cold for three weeks. I wish I had a Neti Pot. Imagine. Melissa makes pornography at NYU. Keith is pursuing salsa-dancing lessons without me. I love life, using my imagination, and baking. If anyone knows anything, please let me know.